my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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