just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
