He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
