is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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