That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just forgot I was standing up.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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