I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
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Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
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Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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