so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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