I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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