i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
