Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
