if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
