She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
