OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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