im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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