I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
