i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
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I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
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i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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