What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
