i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
