I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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