when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
