I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
