just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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