By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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