Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?