So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.