I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
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I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
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You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....