Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
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Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
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I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there