do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart