D3 body, D1 cock
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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