It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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