They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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