I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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