i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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