This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
