I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
