Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize