Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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