The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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