Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
