Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
