i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
