Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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