Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
