I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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