his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
