I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
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Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
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How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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