dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
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That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
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I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.