he shaved USA in his pubs
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize