my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
