I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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