Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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