I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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