I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
