so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
this just has baby written all over it
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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