weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I CAN MOONWALK!
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
