And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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