Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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